This is a true story about me (Mingus) whose happy married life with Chingus is about to be pierced with a multiplication process….we are about to have a baby! 🙂
So it was final that we will start with the efforts at soonest. We set a date to begin and meanwhile went on a flurry of dinner dates and booze parties. Chingus has a 6 day work week, so we always had only the Saturday night or Sunday noon to be the drunken master 😉 It was almost a month or two of conservative partying….by that i mean being frugal. Most times we brought stuff home & enjoyed personal company. Lots of day dreaming and intermediate gossip about people in our circle. That was the norm for those 1-2 months. And then the day arrived when all this had to stop. My lovely birdie left booze, non-veg, dairy products, all processed packaged food and entire outside food. No hotels, no fast food, not even tea or coffee. She was super determined to create the healthiest environment possible for her baby. Environment=belly. Atleast the effort! The rest is faith. You do your part and leave the rest to universe. What was disappointing was that my lovely Chingus had to go through all the torture alone. Yes i had to accompany & partner in her ordeal, but i was still loose to go out with friends for a booze night or breaks like that. But my dear darling went into exile! Damn!!
Then arrived 1st of the dreaded month…when things start to change for ever. No, not the 1st month of pregnancy (thats yet quite far). This is the month when we start acting on the procedure towards preparing our bodies….my wife more than me. After all, she is going to be the home to creature-under-construction for 9 months. She stopped booze. She took oath not to eat non-veg ever again. Duhh! There goes my glorious dinner dates 😦 Our family doctor gave prescriptions for few tests. I cleared, but my love got a supplementary. There was work to be done before we two worked out 😉 Chingus was detected with PCOS 😦 PCOS means eggs arent produced OR they are produced irregular. When produced, they dont fully grow to the stage of rupture. Unless egg ruptures, the sperm cannot enter & fertilize. This was upsetting. But our family doctor Mr. Rohit Rangappa is a gem. He’s got ayurvedic powers. So starts the torture. On my poor little birdie.
The first was to cleanse internal system. Virechan enters! Thats the name of treatment where some medicinal awful tasting ghee has to be consumed for a week & at end of week loose-motion is initiated using another medicine. Motto of this torture is to bring all the toxins in body to intestine & then wash it out. Then enters Basti! Another treatment where a mixture of various ayurvedic oils is inserted into the stomach that brings the necessary changes to hormones for curing PCOS. Well, atleast thats the result it is supposed to deliver if not cure PCOS. If all of this works well, then what remains is masti (meaning: 4play) & actual job! LOL! 😉 Around 3 months went by and nothing happened. Chingus was getting weary & exhausted with this continuous treatment. Virechan is only a 1 time villian; he comes, fucks around, drains the hell out of his prey & leaves. I too have encountered him once. But Basti comes every month for 2 weeks every alternate day. Basti is the kind of villian who ravages the heroine every other day & leaves with the intimidating laughter “i’ll be back!” The only way to get rid of him is to get pregnant. And that happened! Hurray!! But something worse happened then. An accident of sorts. Phuhhhh!!